Thinking...

I can't help wondering where I'm going next. I'm having mixed feelings as the end of the month comes nearer.

I don't have any regrets why I had to resign. At present I find myself literally dragging myself to work, more stressed at the fact that I have to go to work where I know I don't have anything to do or the fact that I don't like the job. I always thought before that I'd outgrow the feeling of not liking my job but I guess I was wrong. The more I defied the desires of my heart, the more I was in conflict with myself. It's an irony when people tell you to follow your heart but think it over. It's like they're giving you an unsolicited advise but don't want to be blamed for giving such. But in the end there's no one to blame and no one is to make those decisions but us.

I might sound as if I'm "problemizing" this thing I have at present. Yet the greater problem I have is I found myself faltering and losing faith at times. I admit that I am still weak...